Why did the runner quit the race against Bigfoot?
He couldn't face defeet!!
Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
… Because he felt crummy.
A Dog Bite
One day, a mailman was greeted by a boy and his dog. The mailman said to the boy, "Does your dog bite?"
"No," replied the boy.
Just then, the dog bit the mailman.
"Hey, "he yelled. "I thought your dog doesn't bite!"
"He doesn't," replied the boy, "but that's not my dog."
A prince had a curse put on him when he was a little boy. He could only speak two words every year. But, if he didn't speak for a whole year, he would then be able to speak 4 words the next year and so on.
One day he met a princess named Josie and he wanted to say "My Princess".
The next year he saw her he wanted to say "My princess, i love you".
The third year he saw her he wanted to say "My princess I love you, will you marry me?" But, the young prince, now growing older knew he would have to wait a couple more years.
So, on the fifth year, excited to finally present his question, he visited the princess.
He approached her respectfully and asked, "JOSIE, MY PRINCESS, I LOVE YOU. WILL YOU MARRY ME?"
And the princess said, "Pardon?"
Sherlock Holmes and Watson
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal they lay down for the night, and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend awake. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?" Holmes questioned.
Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. "Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent."